Sharon's 2015 Memorial Day Speech
Thank you Commander. It is such an honor to be given this opportunity to speak to you. I have sat up there on the hill many times, especially in the last 5 years, and been moved by the words of fine young men who have served us, and continue to serve us in the military. To follow in their footsteps is indeed a privilege.
And perhaps what is even more special for me is to be here in this memorable park, in this community where I grew up, that I call home. This park has many memories for me… sitting up there on those steps on a hot, summer afternoon with my mother, watching my brother Ed play Little League baseball. Or playing softball down on this field, learning how to hold a bat and catch a fly ball in Right Field. I know, not too many fly balls go to right field. Just a couple of my many memories.
Five years ago last Monday, May 18th, I became a Gold Star Mother. My husband Don, my two sons, Don and Doug, my daughter-in-law Margo and my granddaughters Alyssa and Ashley… we all became a Gold Star Family. My son Tom, LTC Thomas Patrick Belkofer, was killed by a suicide bomber at 8:30 that morning, five years ago, in Kabul Afghanistan.
There are tens of thousands like us, perhaps hundreds of thousands like us, across America. Some right here in Rossford Ohio. They are the families of those you commemorate today, who are commemorated on the bronze plaques at the entrance of this park.
What does it mean… the Gold Star? It means we have lost someone special, a son or daughter, a husband or father, a brother or sister, in the defense of America. During World War I, the Star tradition began as a way for families to indicate they had a family member in the military. A Blue Star was displayed on a small flag or in a window of a house, proudly displaying their support of their family member.
In 1918, an idea, generated by mothers who had lost so many of their sons during World War I, was adopted by President Woodrow Wilson. Gold Stars were sewn over the Blue Stars so families could express their loss, and their pride and honor for their country.
This tradition continued through World War II and subsequently through the Korean War, Viet Nam, and our recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Few know the meaning of the Gold Star, even within the military, but it is a very strong and proud tradition. We each have a small Gold Star pin. I wear mine everywhere.
In 1928, a group of 25 Gold Star mothers in Washington DC formed the national Gold Star Mothers of America. While not all Gold Star Mothers are automatically members….you must join formally…..it was a way for Gold Star moms to band together for the benefit of the military and their communities. Personally, I’m not familiar with the organization, but I certainly am with the pain that accompanies that designation.
And yet there are benefits. Yes there are even benefits, those that Tom gave us as members of the military family, and that he has given me as a Gold Star mom. As a past president of the American Gold Star Moms said, “When this journey is placed upon us by our child’s death, we too must learn to recognize the open door and the opportunities it gives us to give back to the community. In the process we learn new skills and discover our own hidden strength trying to turn this unbearable negative into a powerful positive.”
All of that has happened to me over the last five years, things that would not have happened if not for Tom. To have met and spoken with President Obama three times and felt his warmth and compassion and his unbelievable hugs as I cried on his shoulder… that was because of Tom. To have attended an inauguration and military ball and met the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Martin Dempsey, who immediately hugged me as a Gold Star mom… that was because of Tom. To have stood at Arlington on several occasions, with all its somber awe, first as we buried Tom and later when we visited him there… to have heard the 21 gun salutes and Taps not just for Tom, but for so many other brave young heroes, all this is because of Tom.
You know there are approximately 28 funerals every day at Arlington and whenever the 21-gun salutes sound or Taps is being played, you can hear it across the field. Those nearby, who may just be passing, stand in reverence, and honor those who have fallen. Some raise their hands in salute. It is very humbling.
I have often felt the need to thank God for so many blessings he has given me and felt the desire to give back to my community… That has become even more compelling these last 5 years, again I believe because of Tom. And now, to be standing here before all of you on this memorable day… surely that is because of Tom.
There is never enough to be said about our fine military. The brave, oh so young men and women who decide of their own free will to enlist and serve. I’ve seen them all across America and even in Italy and Germany, as we followed Tom in his many posts.
Bright, warm, courteous, dedicated, oh so committed young men and women… and their families. Never forget their families. When you enlist, your family enlists with you. When you make that commitment, they make a commitment too. And when the ultimate sacrifice is made… they’ve made that sacrifice too. For us… for you. A sacrifice that soon leaves our memory, but is with them for a lifetime. It comes so suddenly and so early in life. But leaves a mark forever.
I’d like to read you the words of just one soldier who wrote down his feelings about his commitment and part of the letter he wrote to his family in the event he didn’t come home. His name is PFC Jesse Givens, from CO. These words can be found in a book called Last Letters Home.
“Bean, (his unborn son), I never got to see you but I know in my heart you are beautiful. I know you will be strong and big hearted just like your mom and brother. I will always have with me the feel of the soft nudges on your mom’s belly, and the joy I felt when we found out you were on your way. I dream of you every night, I will always. Don’t ever think that since I wasn’t around that I didn’t love you. You were conceived of love and I came to this terrible place for love. I love you as I do your mom and brother with all my heart and soul. Please understand that I had to be gone so that I could take care of my family. I love you, Bean.”
And to his wife, Melissa: “I have never been so blessed as I was the day I met Melissa Dawn Benfield. You were my angel, soulmate, wife, lover and best friend. I am sorry. I did not want to have to write this letter. There is so much more I need to say, so much more I need to share. A lifetime’s worth. I married you for a million lifetimes. That’s how long I will be with you…. Do me a favor. After you tuck Toad and Bean in, give them hugs and kisses from me. Go outside, look at the stars and count them. Don’t forget to smile. Love Always, Your husband, Jess.”
Let me tell you a little story here. If you’re older like me… I didn’t say old, I said older… if you’re older like me, you may remember Howard Metzenbaum, senator from Ohio. And surely you remember John Glenn, the first man to orbit the Earth. Well, early on, they were opponents in a primary for senator from Ohio. Mr. Metzenbaum made a remark that he didn’t see how Mr. Glenn qualified for the job, and I’m paraphrasing here, because, he said, Mr. Glenn had never held a job. You see, Colonel Glenn had spent his life in the Marine Corps. Colonel Glenn replied in part, “You go to a Veterans Hospital and look those men, with their mangled bodies, in the eye and tell them they didn’t hold a job. You go with me to a Gold Star Mother and you look her in the eye and tell her that her son did not hold a job. You go with me on Memorial Day and stand in Arlington National Cemetery, where I have more friends than I’d like to remember, and you watch those waving flags. You stand there, and you think about this nation, and you tell me that those people didn’t have a job. I’ll tell you, you should be on your knees every day of your life thanking God that there were some men – some men who held a job. And they required a dedication to purpose and a love of country and a dedication to duty that was more important than life itself. And their self-sacrifice is what made this country possible.” Needless to say, Colonel Glenn won a huge victory.
Now I say to you, for all its challenges, and all its stumblings sometimes… there is still no better place than America. Yes, there is a lot to be done, to continue to make it better, especially for our children. But history has shown we can do whatever it takes, especially when we put our hearts into it.
Because of those fine men you honor today, whose names are on those plaques up there, because of them and what they believed in, I ask you to give of yourself whenever you can. Our community needs all of us to make it the best it can be. And remember, those fine men did what they did because they loved America, because it was worth fighting and dying for… because they loved us, loved you, and what they called home… Never, ever forget them.
Finally, some memorable words from Private Givens: “I took an oath to protect my country, not for the sake of saving the world but for the hopes that my family wouldn’t have to live in a world filled with hate, fear and sadness, a world to which America was exposed to on September 11, 2001. I ask that you understand that when you send soldiers into battle that they are not just numbers. I ask that you see our roles as fathers, sons, daughters, wives and husbands, as well as seeing us as proud Americans who want to serve our country.
Will you remember those who we leave behind and honor them as well as our fallen brothers and sisters?”
Tomorrow, mark in your brain calendar, 3:00pm, it’ll be happening all across the country… 3:00pm, stop take a moment and remember them, all of them, and thank God for them.
And perhaps what is even more special for me is to be here in this memorable park, in this community where I grew up, that I call home. This park has many memories for me… sitting up there on those steps on a hot, summer afternoon with my mother, watching my brother Ed play Little League baseball. Or playing softball down on this field, learning how to hold a bat and catch a fly ball in Right Field. I know, not too many fly balls go to right field. Just a couple of my many memories.
Five years ago last Monday, May 18th, I became a Gold Star Mother. My husband Don, my two sons, Don and Doug, my daughter-in-law Margo and my granddaughters Alyssa and Ashley… we all became a Gold Star Family. My son Tom, LTC Thomas Patrick Belkofer, was killed by a suicide bomber at 8:30 that morning, five years ago, in Kabul Afghanistan.
There are tens of thousands like us, perhaps hundreds of thousands like us, across America. Some right here in Rossford Ohio. They are the families of those you commemorate today, who are commemorated on the bronze plaques at the entrance of this park.
What does it mean… the Gold Star? It means we have lost someone special, a son or daughter, a husband or father, a brother or sister, in the defense of America. During World War I, the Star tradition began as a way for families to indicate they had a family member in the military. A Blue Star was displayed on a small flag or in a window of a house, proudly displaying their support of their family member.
In 1918, an idea, generated by mothers who had lost so many of their sons during World War I, was adopted by President Woodrow Wilson. Gold Stars were sewn over the Blue Stars so families could express their loss, and their pride and honor for their country.
This tradition continued through World War II and subsequently through the Korean War, Viet Nam, and our recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Few know the meaning of the Gold Star, even within the military, but it is a very strong and proud tradition. We each have a small Gold Star pin. I wear mine everywhere.
In 1928, a group of 25 Gold Star mothers in Washington DC formed the national Gold Star Mothers of America. While not all Gold Star Mothers are automatically members….you must join formally…..it was a way for Gold Star moms to band together for the benefit of the military and their communities. Personally, I’m not familiar with the organization, but I certainly am with the pain that accompanies that designation.
And yet there are benefits. Yes there are even benefits, those that Tom gave us as members of the military family, and that he has given me as a Gold Star mom. As a past president of the American Gold Star Moms said, “When this journey is placed upon us by our child’s death, we too must learn to recognize the open door and the opportunities it gives us to give back to the community. In the process we learn new skills and discover our own hidden strength trying to turn this unbearable negative into a powerful positive.”
All of that has happened to me over the last five years, things that would not have happened if not for Tom. To have met and spoken with President Obama three times and felt his warmth and compassion and his unbelievable hugs as I cried on his shoulder… that was because of Tom. To have attended an inauguration and military ball and met the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Martin Dempsey, who immediately hugged me as a Gold Star mom… that was because of Tom. To have stood at Arlington on several occasions, with all its somber awe, first as we buried Tom and later when we visited him there… to have heard the 21 gun salutes and Taps not just for Tom, but for so many other brave young heroes, all this is because of Tom.
You know there are approximately 28 funerals every day at Arlington and whenever the 21-gun salutes sound or Taps is being played, you can hear it across the field. Those nearby, who may just be passing, stand in reverence, and honor those who have fallen. Some raise their hands in salute. It is very humbling.
I have often felt the need to thank God for so many blessings he has given me and felt the desire to give back to my community… That has become even more compelling these last 5 years, again I believe because of Tom. And now, to be standing here before all of you on this memorable day… surely that is because of Tom.
There is never enough to be said about our fine military. The brave, oh so young men and women who decide of their own free will to enlist and serve. I’ve seen them all across America and even in Italy and Germany, as we followed Tom in his many posts.
Bright, warm, courteous, dedicated, oh so committed young men and women… and their families. Never forget their families. When you enlist, your family enlists with you. When you make that commitment, they make a commitment too. And when the ultimate sacrifice is made… they’ve made that sacrifice too. For us… for you. A sacrifice that soon leaves our memory, but is with them for a lifetime. It comes so suddenly and so early in life. But leaves a mark forever.
I’d like to read you the words of just one soldier who wrote down his feelings about his commitment and part of the letter he wrote to his family in the event he didn’t come home. His name is PFC Jesse Givens, from CO. These words can be found in a book called Last Letters Home.
“Bean, (his unborn son), I never got to see you but I know in my heart you are beautiful. I know you will be strong and big hearted just like your mom and brother. I will always have with me the feel of the soft nudges on your mom’s belly, and the joy I felt when we found out you were on your way. I dream of you every night, I will always. Don’t ever think that since I wasn’t around that I didn’t love you. You were conceived of love and I came to this terrible place for love. I love you as I do your mom and brother with all my heart and soul. Please understand that I had to be gone so that I could take care of my family. I love you, Bean.”
And to his wife, Melissa: “I have never been so blessed as I was the day I met Melissa Dawn Benfield. You were my angel, soulmate, wife, lover and best friend. I am sorry. I did not want to have to write this letter. There is so much more I need to say, so much more I need to share. A lifetime’s worth. I married you for a million lifetimes. That’s how long I will be with you…. Do me a favor. After you tuck Toad and Bean in, give them hugs and kisses from me. Go outside, look at the stars and count them. Don’t forget to smile. Love Always, Your husband, Jess.”
Let me tell you a little story here. If you’re older like me… I didn’t say old, I said older… if you’re older like me, you may remember Howard Metzenbaum, senator from Ohio. And surely you remember John Glenn, the first man to orbit the Earth. Well, early on, they were opponents in a primary for senator from Ohio. Mr. Metzenbaum made a remark that he didn’t see how Mr. Glenn qualified for the job, and I’m paraphrasing here, because, he said, Mr. Glenn had never held a job. You see, Colonel Glenn had spent his life in the Marine Corps. Colonel Glenn replied in part, “You go to a Veterans Hospital and look those men, with their mangled bodies, in the eye and tell them they didn’t hold a job. You go with me to a Gold Star Mother and you look her in the eye and tell her that her son did not hold a job. You go with me on Memorial Day and stand in Arlington National Cemetery, where I have more friends than I’d like to remember, and you watch those waving flags. You stand there, and you think about this nation, and you tell me that those people didn’t have a job. I’ll tell you, you should be on your knees every day of your life thanking God that there were some men – some men who held a job. And they required a dedication to purpose and a love of country and a dedication to duty that was more important than life itself. And their self-sacrifice is what made this country possible.” Needless to say, Colonel Glenn won a huge victory.
Now I say to you, for all its challenges, and all its stumblings sometimes… there is still no better place than America. Yes, there is a lot to be done, to continue to make it better, especially for our children. But history has shown we can do whatever it takes, especially when we put our hearts into it.
Because of those fine men you honor today, whose names are on those plaques up there, because of them and what they believed in, I ask you to give of yourself whenever you can. Our community needs all of us to make it the best it can be. And remember, those fine men did what they did because they loved America, because it was worth fighting and dying for… because they loved us, loved you, and what they called home… Never, ever forget them.
Finally, some memorable words from Private Givens: “I took an oath to protect my country, not for the sake of saving the world but for the hopes that my family wouldn’t have to live in a world filled with hate, fear and sadness, a world to which America was exposed to on September 11, 2001. I ask that you understand that when you send soldiers into battle that they are not just numbers. I ask that you see our roles as fathers, sons, daughters, wives and husbands, as well as seeing us as proud Americans who want to serve our country.
Will you remember those who we leave behind and honor them as well as our fallen brothers and sisters?”
Tomorrow, mark in your brain calendar, 3:00pm, it’ll be happening all across the country… 3:00pm, stop take a moment and remember them, all of them, and thank God for them.